5 Inevitable Side-Effects of the Warm Weather Transition

 

As you may or may not know, I love to complain about the weather. It’s too hot in Georgia, it’s too cold in Connecticut, it’s too hurricane-y in Florida and everything just kinda sucks. 

Exactly. 

The farce that is called spring is now upon us, which is visually represented by how there’s only some snow and ice on the ground. After the worst winter in 100 years of Connecticut’s history, spring will be welcomed with wide-open arms. But, like all other weather phenomena, at least some of spring and the transition into it will suck, so here’s a list of what to expect from the transition– the good, the bad, and the sweaty.

 

1) No one knows how to dress

In winter, we could assume without looking outside or consulting our weather apps that it was going to be Winterfell outside and we just layered as much as we could while still being able to fit our backpack straps over our shoulders. Nowadays, however, people’s climate perspectives are being poisoned by hope. We look outside and see green grass starting to poke through and we get cocky. Some brave souls go out without jackets, some with short sleeves– and sometimes, they’re alright. But then they think that since it was nice on Monday, that it’ll still be nice on Tuesday… right?

WRONG.

Welcome to Connecticut, where the forecasts are made up and the predictions don’t matter.

This sort of shit never happened in winter. We could always just assume the worst, and usually our expectations were met. As much as it sucked, I respected that, and the consistent awfulness of the weather was something I could rely on and then make plans accordingly. Now, all your winter clothes are too warm and all your spring clothes from home aren’t warm enough, so your wardrobe is a hellish limbo of half-assed layering and crossed fingers.

Also, temperature apparently isn’t the only thing that fluctuates rapidly in spring around here. My friend Christina went in to work the other day and came out a few hours later to a torrential downpour– for which she was entirely unprepared, because there hadn’t been a drop of rain when she left the house. Speaking of rain…

2) It’s going to rain again, a lot

Precipitation seems to be a very common thing here. I’ve only been in Connecticut for the majority of a year, but I’ve started to notice some patterns, one of which is this– the sky hates us, and will drop all manner of hell on us at any chance it gets. 

“Seriously, screw you guys.” – The Sky, before flipping me off and unleashing an impromptu hailstorm 

People have a variety of opinions on rain and snow. Rain isn’t as pretty or photogenic as snow, and umbrellas are really inconvenient to carry around. Rain stays on the ground for a shorter period of time than snow, but the only people for whom it is socially acceptable to play in rain puddles is small children, which is a definite downside. Also, snow at least has a time when it’s nice before it turns every slightly uneven flagstone walkway into a minefield for those without rain boots– rain does that right away. School will never be cancelled for rain… but then again, it was barely ever cancelled for even the most absurd amounts of snow, but it’s not like we minded that at all.

Would anyone else like a cup of tea?

3) It probably won’t be truly “warm” until we get back next year…

…and then it won’t be warm, it’ll be hot. One thing I was not expecting when I moved to Connecticut was hot summers. I know that sounds stupid, but when I came for Bulldog Days in at the end of April, it was freezing. To my naive mind, that meant that it must be perfect weather in the summer– it couldn’t possibly get above 80. And even on the off-chance that it did, I’m sure that Yale would have great heating and cooling! Why, it’s the greatest school in the world with millions in funding! How could it not?

Artist’s rendering of L-Dub in August.

I’m sure that Connecticut’s weather is perfectly lovely in the early months of summer right after we get out. But for most of us, that’s the only time of the year we aren’t around, and so we get to enjoy approximately none of it. Now that Connecticut has Stockholmed me into enjoying 40 degree weather, what we have now is “nice” to me– but in Georgia (the greatest state in the Union), 40 is still bundle-up-until-you-have-to-waddle-to-school weather.

The truly beautiful weather, 60s and 70s, probably won’t start until school is over, and will be a thing of the past once more as soon as we get back. And then we will have to yet again ask ourselves where the endowment is going as we shake our fists at the sky and plug in a third fan.

And dance to Santana in the dark. Don’t forget that.

4) Laziness is going to start being much harder

Besides the obvious rush of work that comes in this crunch period between spring break and the end of the term, laziness has to be put on the shelf in other ways in the coming weeks. First of all, it’s becoming warmer, and although it isn’t quite shorts weather yet (by a long shot), it will soon stop being sweatpants weather. I know, I know– I’m just as devastated as you are.

Repeat this image times three, and you have my entire wardrobe for the past four months.

This is also a horror in more subtle ways, however. People who care about makeup and know how to do it without turning out like the Joker are going to have to start coordinating “warmer looks”, whatever the hell that means. Suitemates who are into “spring cleaning” are going to make your side of the room look bad, so you’ll probably end up feeling like you  need to do something about that. You’ll have to stop wearing the same shirt everyday because it’s no longer wear-a-jacket-inside weather, and people will notice.

Also, you WILL have to start wearing deodorant. Seriously.

Only Matthew McConaughey can get away with it, and even he barely can.

 

5) The social scene will probably explode

Now that people don’t have to weigh the chance of contracting hypothermia in their decision-making process before going out, Soad’s is going to start sounding a lot more appealing to people. Even this weekend, there’s more events going on than I’ve even been to the entire year.

 

 

Seriously?

Two nights ago me and a friend went on a spur-of-the-moment store run to make guacamole, and then we decided on the way there to watch a rom-com together when we got back. Yes, this is the social scene to me, and yes, my Wednesdays are wild. This sort of impromptu outing would never have happened before break though, because barely anything was worth braving the cold for unless we absolutely had to. For some people, even the things we did have to go to weren’t worth it.

But then again, some Yalies will use anything as an excuse to skip class.

The re-emergence of what the young people call “hanging” “out” is great for everyone. For people who love to go out and dress cutely while doing so, they can now do so without fear of losing a limb to the cold. For people who love to stay home and watch rom-coms and eat guacamole or play time management games instead of actually managing their time, it’s awesome because all their cool suite- and floor-mates are always gone to one “hangout” or another and then I have the entire floor to myself to blast Backstreet Boys. Er, I mean– they have the entire floor to themselves. The hypothetical people mentioned in this paragraph bear no resemblance to any real human or humans living or dead.

But especially not to the fourth floor of Entryway F of Lanman-Wright Hall.