HumorNOT SAFE FOR SECTIONSpotlight

15 Porn Parodies We’ve All Been Waiting For (NSFS)

You’re at college. You have free Wi-Fi. It only makes sense that you want to watch porn. If you’re like the majority of people, you know the most important part to any pornographic film is the story line. Here are 15 porn parodies we’ve all been waiting for!

 

1.Horny With A Chance of Meat and Balls

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, but with a twist. Flint Lockwood (Flint Cockwood?) makes a sex machine. Maybe genitalia falls from the sky instead of food? The possibilities are endless.

cloudy with a chance of meatballs

 

2. American Drag-Queen: Jake Long

Instead of Jake Long being the American Dragon, he is the American Drag-Queen. He fights bad magical creatures, all while dressed in drag. Then I guess he has sex with them at some point?

American_Dragon_Jake_Long

 

3. Poke-a-Man

So this is not a bestiality porn. Just making that VERY clear. In this universe all the Pokemon are very human like and played by human actors. So I guess Pokemon battles are just the Pokemon having sex, but they determine a winner somehow. Or people have sex with their Pokemon? Honestly this one causes more problems than solutions.

diglet

4. Lust

In this parody of Lost, it starts with a bunch of people getting trapped on an island. Then they have sex. And the smoke monster gets involved, somehow. It’s basically just Lost.

lost

5. JurASSic Park III

In this third installment of the JurASSic park series, scientists make giant, vicious, dinosaur-like genitals that can’t be controlled. They then attack Los Angeles or something and have sex with people. When will humanity learn!

jurASSic Park

6. Conception

Basically the plot of Inception, but they need to go into someone’s wet dream? Or they need to go into someones dream so they can conceive a child, but some special dream child. Maybe the top Leonardo DiCaprio uses looks like a penis? Either way, no one will understand this one.

inception

7. Julius Scissoring

This is a lesbian version of Julius Caesar. Every role is a woman who speaks in Shakespearean English. It’s exactly the same as the original, except instead of stabbing Julia, there’s a big orgy and then she gets stabbed. All the female characters are interesting, three dimensional, and experience character development in ways women in the media usually aren’t.

julius-caesar_510

8. It’s Always Sunny in Intercourse, Pennsylvania

A group of four 30 year olds and Danny Devito go to Intercourse Pennsylvania expecting a quiet, Amish vacation. Little do they know, it is a very hectic SEX VACATION. Danny Devito stars in every single scene.

intercourse

9. Straight Outta Condoms

Five young men start a social revolution by rapping, but about condoms. They fight social injustice and also have unprotected sex because of the lack of condoms.

sraight outta compton

10. Gilmore Girls, but They’re Lesbians

In this witty, critically acclaimed pornography, Lesbians Rory and Lorelai Gilmore (GilMORE) come to terms with the harsh realities of being a high achieving single mother while living in a small town that roots against them. And there’s some lesbian romance along the way.

gilmore girls

11. Parks and Procreation

Leslie Knope (Leslie Yes, because consent is important) works for the Department of Parks and Procreation and her goal is to increase the population of the town by building a sex park. What could go wrong?!?!?!?!

parks and rec condom

 

12. 6984

5000 years in the future, the government controls all sex. The government watches your every move, until one couple tries to fight the oppressive regime by 69ing? Big Brother (Big Penis?) is always watching. Communism is bad, but this porn is even worse.

1984

 

13. Jane Eyreola

I hated Jane Eyre and don’t remember what happened in it. But this pun can probably be incorporated into the story.

jane eyre

 

14. The Great Gaspby

Taking place on Long (Penis) Island, this story examines the disillusionment of the 1920s and the hollow lives the characters live. VaJayJay Gaspby made a fortune for himself as a porn star and wants to share his wealth and sexual talents with the love of his life, but there are a lot of problems that are actually metaphors for the American (Wet) Dream.

the great gatsby

 

6+9. The 69 Clues

Like the 39 Clues, except there are two, unrelated, consenting adults that go on an adventure to discover some sort of sex themed mystery. They face a lot of sex themed adversity and overcome it by believing in themselves and their sex abilities.

39 clues