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13 Noises that Interrupt Your Afternoon Nap

Just be glad you don't have dog hearing.

Too many of us drift from class to class or dorm to library, eating sugary foods, drinking coffee, trying to overcome sleep deprivation –– but nothing beats a refreshing nap.

Well, maybe if you take naps in a sensory deprivation chamber. In reality, naps are about as frustrating as they are refreshing. At 3PM, the sun is strong enough to flood past most curtains, and nobody gives a damn if they make noise and wake you up. Here's a few examples:

1.  Sirens.


It's New Haven, remember?

2. Your roommate blasting "Fancy."

OH MY GOD I'M SORRY I THOUGHT THE SUITE WAS EMPTY.

3. Lack of a fan or 4. Presence of a fan.

How can she sleep with the wind in her face? Or not in her face? I don't know, my whims change as quickly as a freshmen's major

5. Anxiety: Am I napping… or procrastinating?

You're procrastinating. Admit it.

6. Phone conversations.

This guy doesn't care that you only slept 2.5 hours last night.

7. That "wake up" alarm you set 5 hours ago. 

It did the exact opposite of what it was supposed to do.

8. Someone typing too loudly.

nails on a chalkboard > keys on a keyboard

9. Someone rehearsing a cappella.

Drama queen hand motions included

10. That other person rehearsing a cappella.

You realized there were two when the first person stopped.

11. All those other people, rehearsing a cappella.

Particularly true if you live in Berkeley North Court or Calhoun, right next to a cappella's own USS Enterprise: WLH

12. The entire Yale Symphony Orchestra in the other room.

Or worse: that one YSO member rehearsing alone

13. The ever-present sounds of civil unrest, gradually growing louder and louder outside your window, a constant menacing reminder of the instability inherent in a democratic system and, more importantly, your own inability to fucking fall asleep.

College life is so hard

Such is the destiny of every nap: an hour and a half of frustration, drifting lazily in and out of consciousness, awaiting the moment when you will quietly drag yourself back to work and wonder if you actually slept at all.

Cats, of course, can sleep even in the presence of psychotic killer stuffed animals. But y'all can sleep decently well in the presence of a city chock-full of psychotic killer townies! Okay, we made our New Haven joke quota for the week.

Herbie Gilman
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