To everyone who feels like sitting in their lecture is equivalent to pulling teeth out—you’re not alone.
1. “I vow to not fall asleep in class today”
*tapes eyes open*
2. “Oh God I can’t sit next to him after what happened last night but there are no open seats”
“Hey there again…you certainly look…different…in the daylight…”
3. *checks Instagram*
And realizing your friend uploaded that one Woads picture you told her not to
4. “Wait I didn’t finish copying down the slide”
“Sorry, did any of you get that? No? Shit, wait what is she talking about now? Ah fuck…”
5. “All these people could use some cough drops”
“Didn’t know this lecture hall doubled as a tuberculosis ward…”
6. “Wow okay, who just Yak’d about me…”
“I will find you, mysterious Yak-er”
7. “Does G Heav have dumplings today”
There damn well better be some left when I get there
8. “How long did I just nap for?”
Sorry about the drool on your shoulder, neighbor
9. “I don’t know what’s going on in this class”
This is a history course, right?
10. “I’m going to start doing the reading”
Ideal scenario
11. *snapchat friend sitting next to me about how bored I am*
I know you can’t relieve my boredom since you’re here too, but I just have to try
12. “Thank God class is almost over… oh wait it’s been 10 minutes”
Are we trapped in some sort of time warp?
13. *wake up from nap #2* “Dammit I drooled on my notes”
Come on, self, get it together…
14. “I’m hungry”
Looking at your neighbor with a bag of chips like…
15. *check Instagram feed again and scroll through old pictures*
Ah well.
16. “I need coffee”
Blue State should deliver
17. “I really ought to get a tutor for this class”
Or…