You’ve probably had enough of professional fashion critics reviewing the Oscars Red Carpet looks from last night, and are now craving the totally unprofessional and biased expertise we here at The Boola can provide. Read on to find two writers’* opinions of some of the night’s best looks, made practically incoherent from excitement.
*SR= Shireen Roy, CC= Carolina Carrillo
Charlotte Riley (Gauri and Nainika)
SR: Charlotte Riley totally slayed tonight in a black gown that I could envision wearing to my first husband’s funeral, before changing into something more casual to go pick up the inheritance. Her makeup and hair are also totally on point, with soft curls and bright red lips.
CC: I feel like she painted her lips with the blood of her enemies. How else could you get a red this vibrant? It’s also giving me such Morticia Addams vibes. #matriarchy #wheresgomez
SR: I want to achieve that level of glamorous but I know I’m not fabulous enough for that. She looks like a powerful witch.
CC: Do you think she could be the next Supreme?
SR: I don’t acknowledge the end of Coven, so in my head she totally is.
Charlize Theron (Dior Haute Couture, jewels Harry Winston)
SR: Charlize Theron is who I want to be. She looks like a beautiful lion goddess. I spent the entirety of Mad Max: Fury Road sobbing because I was so in love with her.
CC: Honestly, I would be surprised if you had any other sort of reaction towards Charlize Theron. But seriously, that Harry Winston pendant is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Like a giant sparkly egg of wonder.
SR: Yeah, and it goes so well with that amazing plunging neckline and crimson dress.
CC: I think that if you’re going to wear a red dress to a red carpet event, you better own it, and she totally does.
Saoirse Ronan (Calvin Klein Collection)
SR: Saoirse Ronan looks like a BEAUTIFUL SPARKLY DRAGON. I’m getting such Slytherin vibes from this. She looks like she just got back from a ball at Malfoy Manor.
CC: She and Narcissa would be bffs. Also, you’re so right, the dress reminds me of Rhaegal, Daenerys Targaryen’s dragon. Except human.
SR: A human dragon.
CC: Very clever.
SR: I also really love how those earrings go with her eyes and the dress.
CC: I appreciate the lack of necklace since the dress is so lovely and sparkly to begin with, I think it just keeps the focus on the dress.
SR: All in all, A+.
Sophie Turner (Dress by Galvan for Opening Ceremony x Swarvoski, Jewels by Tiffany & Co.)
CC: I’M HONESTLY EXPERIENCING CARDIAC ARREST. Everything about this ensemble is utter perfection. The color of the dress goes so well with her skin tone and hair, we are all unworthy.
SR: If Sansa Stark brutally murdered Petyr Baelish and every other asshole who ever hurt her and her family, took over Westeros with Arya and Jon, and then went to an event in the modern day, this is what she would wear.
CC: OH MY GOD YES. Sansa deserves so much better than all the shit that has happened to her, but personally, I see her conquering with Margaery and Daenerys.
SR: I just want her to be happy!
CC: This dress is a step in the right direction.
Priyanka Chopra (Zuhair Murad)
SR: PRIYANKA CHOPRA IS MY QUEEN. I want to build a shrine to her and to this dress.
CC: I’ll help you build the shrine. The white pops so prettily against her skin, I love it. The cinched in metal belt is such an interesting twist to the delicate floral appliques. Perfect.
SR: This is giving me major Old Hollywood vibes. It’s just so ethereal.
CC: Honestly, this is one of my favorite looks from the entire Oscars.
Leonardo DiCaprio* (Suit by Armani)
SR: Wow. Black suit and white shirt. So groundbreaking. So revolutionary.
CC: The contrast of the black and white is inspiring.
SR: A true rebel.
*Congratulations on your win, honey! We know you’ve been waiting a long time, and we’re all proud of you. 🙂
Eddie Redmayne (Alexander McQueen)
CC: This black tuxedo is definitely a bold choice.
SR: So risky! I’m sure he worried about what all those critics would say. You know how cruel they can be!
SR: Dev, really? I expected more from you!
CC: What do you mean, he seems to really be going out of his comfort zone. Only 95% of the men at the Oscars are wearing black tuxedos, he only has so much support.
SR: Can we go look at more dresses? I’m falling asleep.