Humor

7 “Great” Study Spots for the Studious Yalie

One of the most challenging parts of adjusting to college life is finding a routine that you can feel comfortable with. With studying and homework becoming a daily part of life, where you study is just as important as studying itself. Here are 7 great places to study to make the most out of your academic experience

 

 

The middle of the street 

According to the movie Lucy, we only use about 10% of our brain, and if we use more than that, we can do amazing things. Sure, maybe you can power through that pset in an hour or two in standard conditions, but when an ambulance is coming at you at breakneck speed, you only have a couple of seconds to get that homework finished. It’s survival of the fittest at its finest. Besides, cars are used to people walking in the middle of the road when they’re obviously not going to make it across, so I don’t see any downside to this.

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Your ex-girlfriend’s bathroom

Nothing is more relaxing or brain stimulating then looking at the multiple shampoo and conditioner bottles that line the bathroom of the woman who promised she’d be there forever. Maybe she’ll walk in a realize it was mistake to choose your best friend over you, and that your clinginess was just a sign that you truly cared about her. Nothing says “I’m always here for you, but I’m also laid back and chill” like camping out in the stall of her bathroom but playing it off cool by reading Plato. That’s how she’ll know you’re a keeper.

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Yale Health Hospital Bed

Sometimes it’s just too crowded in your suite or in the library for you to focus on your work. If only there was a place where people would pay absolutely no attention to you and leave you alone for hours on end. OH WAIT! THERE IS! All you need to do is fake a potentially life threatening illness, or better yet, give yourself one, and watch in amazement as doctors and nurses leave you in almost absolute silence for hours on end with no indication that they’ll ever come back.

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Confession Booth

This is a little known fact, but priests are required to answer all questions you give them in a confession booth truthfully and to the best of their ability. Now most of these times the questions are “How can I repent for my sins?” or “If Jesus were an ice cream cone, what flavor would he be?”. But legally, there’s nothing stopping you from asking “Can you analyze the role of Aztec culture in the 1400s in the development of systematic racism?” They have to answer! What a neat life hack.

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The Grover Cleveland Birthplace

What better inspiration is there for you to crank out that ten page essay than the house of Cleveland’s father, the Reverend Richard Falley Cleveland. The house is a good example of local vernacular architecture. The decidedly middle-class character of the rooms reflect the day to day life of Reverend Richard Cleveland and his family. Contrasting sharply with the humble beginnings portrayed in these rooms, the exhibit gallery features a striking display of artifacts that reflect the financial and political success Cleveland achieved during the last quarter of the 19th century.The Grover Cleveland Birthplace State Historic Site is the only house museum in the country dedicated to the interpretation of President Cleveland’s life. It is the nation’s leading repository of Cleveland artifacts and political memorabilia. Can you smell that perfect score? BECAUSE I CAN!

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Kuwait

The 22 hours and 17 minutes it takes to get from Connecticut to Kuwait will give you the perfect opportunity to catch up on your work. What else are you going to do while waiting for your connecting flight or being thousands of feet in the air on your way to the country with the fifth largest oil reserves in the world? And as a reward for all you hard work, you get a little mini vacation in Kuwait, which has won two Olympic medals, both bronze, won by Fehaid Al-Dehani in trap shooting. You can’t get that in Bass!

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Your own subconscious

Take a few minutes and sit down. Think about who you are. Who you REALLY are. Go deeper and deeper into yourself and your psyche until you reach the deepest point. There you’ll find what you’ve always been afraid of but you always knew was there: nothing. Realize what an empty shell of a human you’ve become, and even worse, realize that you have no intention of changing. Stare into the abyss, and then the abyss will stare also into you. Not surprisingly, the abyss is a pretty good study buddy, and will be more than willing to help you out with a couple of the more challenging math problems.

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