On the opposite end of the spectrum is homely little Lanman-Wright hall, or Ldub for short. Ldub is inhabited by unfortunate freshpeople in Berkeley and Pierson, and non-freshpeople roommates include mice, cockroaches, and frocos who question why they decided to move back there in the first place. Think of this as a shittier version of Nick Carraway’s humble cottage, plus cockroaches.
Living in Ldub turned out to be fine in the end, and those who live there now might tell you they love it. Whether this is a coping-mechanism or an undiagnosed case of Stockholm syndrome is unclear – all I’m saying is don’t get your hopes up, prefrosh. If you’re not staying in a princess suite, avoid them so as to not give yourself false hope. If you’re already settled in . . . just start praying you’ll avoid the atomic bomb of disappointment that is getting sorted into Ldub after experiencing Yale’s most eccentric freshmen suites.
Me, upon realizing I’d spend a year living in Ldub. . .
3. How Gilmore Girls Portrayed Life at Yale
Important disclaimer: Gilmore Girls remains one of my favorite shows of all time.
That being said, if you’re coming to Yale hoping to be the next Rory Gilmore, go ahead and let go of that pipe dream right now. How Rory lives her television life at Yale and how life at Yale actually is are two entirely separate things. It’s simply not possible to emulate our favorite fictional Yalie for a plethora of different reasons:
a. The city of New Haven exists here in reality, unlike in the Gilmore universe. Embrace it.
b. Coffee carts will not appear right outside your dorm room. It might be a taco cart or a kettle corn cart, though, if you live in Trumbull, Saybrook, or Berkeley!
c. Freshmen who live in Durfee are in Morse, not Branford (but Robert Frost really did say that bit about Branford being the oldest and most beautiful at Yale).
d. No one looks as put-together as Rory Gilmore all the time. Even the best-dressed people you meet will occasionally inhabit a Bass Library cubicle in their schlumpiest sweatpants.
e. It is absolutely impossible to take off a full semester, be the editor of the Yale Daily News, maintain a successful years-long committed relationship, infiltrate Skull and Bones, spend every Friday night dinner in Hartford, and still graduate with honors on time all in one career at Yale.
But don’t despair, Gilmore fans! There are still ways to emulate your favorite Gilmore plotlines, like freaking out over old books and hosting your own prefrosh. Most importantly, it’s absolutely possible to find your own Logan Huntzberger, crash one of his family yacht parties, steal a yacht, and get arrested for grand-theft boating! Those people definitely exist here, you just have to find them. Maybe check the frat houses? I don’t know.
And, ideally, that person has a yacht.
4. The Existence of Disney Parties
Someday, prefrosh, you might receive an anonymous email inviting you to a Disney party. They’re a whole new world, these Disney parties. They exist not just around the riverbend, but, rather, in an off-campus house. They won’t teach you to paint with all the colors of the wind, you probably won’t get to kiss the girl, and they likely won’t make a man out of you, so you need to be prepared for that. If you just can’t wait to be king of the social scene, you could try to go the distance to attend a Disney party, but to the rest of you: just let it go. Let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door . . . on the idea of a Disney party.
It was a naked party. That’s what it was. A naked party. Maybe leave that until your freshmen year, at least.
Confession: I’m still unsure about this one. Do I wish I had known a brave soul who would have taken me to a fraternity, or do I wish I hadn’t known about them at all so I wouldn’t have to debate about it all weekend?
If you’re like I was during Bulldog Days, you’re probably too busy shitting your pants with shock and awe that you’re here to have time to go to any parties (also you’re too shy and awkward, and that’s okay). Three years later, though, I still only know where one frat house is because of that one tragicomical night I spent chasing down an unrequited love interest. How would my Yale career be different if I had incorporated frats into my lifestyle from the very beginning? I don’t know. I have no advice for you on this one, prefrosh. You’re on your own.