Nearly two months in, and your life is going well. But you always feel the nagging sensation that you’re forgetting something. Don’t worry, the Boola knows exactly what you’re missing:
1. This coffee to get you and your suitemates through your 9AM math class after a long night turning up at Woads.
“Full-bodied and f*cking flavoursome, with powerful notes of dark treacle, cocoa and liquorice, complimented by a dense syrupy body.”
Help your suitemate who’s up until 4AM power through their day and night by getting it from Firefox for $13.49.
2. Donut soaps that you’ll be tempted to eat with your f*cking strong coffee because they smell so amazing.
“These are scented in an authentic, rich chocolate fragrance for the chocolate frosted and fresh raspberry for the pink frosted.”
Prank your suitemates or have delicious smelling hands (your choice!) for $7.95 on Etsy.
3. A poster of literary works and genres for your suite of diehard English majors, because how else would you know that Infinite Jest fits under “Highbrow”, “Literature Qua Literature”, and “Post-modern”.
“From broad story classifications to some truly punctilious partitioning, each genre is represented here by a hand-illustrated book cover, then branches further into subcategories and sub-subcategories as merited—providing at least two representative works for each.”
Find out more about psychological science fiction and magic realism for $29 via Pop Chart Lab.
4. Clean up the crumb trail of your late night Insomnia Cookies run with this mini desk vacuum.
“Great for cleaning crumbs, dust, eraser dirt, lint or ashes from table or countertop.”
For $6.59 on Amazon you can also clean the eraser shavings from all the times you erased the answers to your econ p-set.
5. These shot glasses so you don’t feel too guilty about pregaming when you still haven’t started your math homework.*
“These super fancy glasses are sand carved by hand, leaving a tactile groove where the symbols are.”
Perform basic calculus to test how sober you are for $60 on Etsy.
*The Boola kindly reminds you that you must be over the age of 21 to drink in the state of Connecticut.
6. This adorable narwhal lamp that will transform your common room to the aquatic wonderland of your dreams.
“Powered by batteries (as opposed to huge quantities of fish)”
Bring light to your dark and hopeless soul for $13.49 on Firebox.
7. Communicate efficiently with your international suitemates and friends with this helpful book.
“Ideal for the contemporary traveller who may need to compare a companion to a suggestively shaped fruit, curse an enemy with a painful death or imply that someone’s mother enjoys intimate relations with wild animals.”
Be one with the locals next time you study abroad for $12.19 on Firebox.
8. These rugs so any visitor will know your suite’s Hogwarts House affiliation.
“It goes on your floor. It doesn’t fly. That’s another movie.”
Or, for only $49.99 on ThinkGeek, break up with your suitemates as you argue day and night about which Hogwarts house is your spirit animal.
9. This tape dispenser so you’ll never feel lonely when studying alone in your common room at 3AM while your suitemates are out.
“Everyone “otter” have one of these on their desk!”
To stare deeply into a plastic otter’s soul, buy it on Amazon for $21.18.
10. Step up your pregame game with this alcoholic whipped cream. Bonus: seven flavors to choose from for seven days of the week!*
“Whether wobbling atop a Pina Colada, canoodling a hot choc or perched proudly upon a whopping great slab of key lime pie – Liquor Whipped is the perfect compliment to all your sweet-toothed favourites.”
Be known as the sweetest suite for only $20.29 courtesy of Firebox.
*The Boola kindly reminds you that you must be over the age of 21 to drink in the state of Connecticut.
11. These sticky notes so you can let your suitemates know ASAP about the guy who was OMG so cute in your history section or that WTF thing that happened last night.
“If 1 sticky pad is great, 6 sticky pads are 8.5 times as good.”
FYI you can get them on Amazon, and BTW they’re $12! Hope that’s not TMI.
12. Use this magnetic poetry kit to leave enigmatic notes to your suitemates each time you psychoanalyze them.
“A box of Freudian words that celebrate the most famous psychiatrist of all time.”
Your id is telling you to buy it from Amazon for $12.95.
13. Sharing is caring, but these adorable glass markers will prevent you from sharing germs and viruses with the rest of your suite.
“Each colorful critter is crafted with flexible silicone, which means their hugs around your bevvies are as cuddly as can be!”
For $8.99 on Modcloth, be the last suite on your floor to not succumb to the flu.
14. Ketchup or mustard** gives life to your hot dogs, so give life to your ketchup and mustard with these bottles.
“It’s one thing that each Kikkerland® bottle (ketchup and mustard) feature a full-blown facial expression, but their eyes actually blink with each movement.”
Have a threeway staring contest for $17.90 from Forever 21.
** True Chicagoans know that mustard is the real hot dog condiment.
15. This bathroom door cover that will stop your suitemates from interrupting your quality rendition of Adele’s entire repertoire.
“High Quality”
Get an additional suitemate for $5.17 on Amazon.