In their inaugural duet “Turn down for what,” urban poets Lil Jon and DJ Snake repeatedly ask the titular question: turn down for what?
Turning down is defined as sobering up or generally calming down from a frenzied, likely drug or alcohol infused state. In the song, the question of whether or not to do so seems rhetorical – why on earth turn down when there’s another round of shots to be had? Excellent point, Mr. Jon and Mr. Snake, particularly if they’re fruit-flavored rum shots.
Me and fruit-flavored rum shots.
However, as someone whose ratio of turnt up-itude to turnt down-ness is typically pretty low, I’d like to offer an alternative view. There are many things for which turning down is worthwhile (figuring out how to phrase that sentence being one of them). Here are just a few.
because naps
Me too, kid. Me too.
because bedtime
Sorry not sorry, my bed is more interesting than your party.
because my head has started spinning
Maybe not quite like this, but it feels like it, dammit.
because I just threw up and no I won’t rally, leave me alone
Bye, Felicia.
because I have a lot of homework
Don’t test my determination please, it’s rare enough as it is.
because the only alcohol here is popov vodka and forget that
Never again.
because there aren’t any cute people here
Sigh.
because my tinder match clearly didn’t show up
And you just lost your chance, tinder match #72.
because I think my tinder match catfished me??
Nopenopenope.
because I want to be functional tomorrow morning
Yeah okay let’s not get ahead of ourselves Paris, but it’s a start.
because my crush usually eats brunch at 11 and I want to be there looking nice
That’s much more reasonable.
because the main spring fling performance sucks
Not impressed, T-Pain. Not impressed.
because I’m thiiiiiiis close to a high score on flappy bird
And it was a night well spent, thanks.
because I just got a netflix account
Bye productivity!
because the music here sucks
Judging you and your playlist.
because I already took my bra off
And hell no it’s not going back on.
because I’m already in pajamas
And this will be me in 3..2..1…
because none of my presentable clothes are clean
But I’d roll all up into a naked party like…
because I just ate a lot and I have a food baby
Just put the solo cup next to my bed and leave me alone.
because Netflix just acquired Game of Thrones
Preach!
because I’m notoriously bad at knowing my limits
because I forgot to feed my beta fish again
RIP Paul 🙁
because someone really cool is doing an Ask Me Anything on reddit
Or re-reading Robin Williams’ :'(
because Yorkside is already closed
And where will I get my drunk mozzarella sticks, huh?
because cover charges hurt me
Must you call out my fake ID, Toad’s?
because the countertops of this frat house are sticky
Par for the course.
because the floor of this frat house is sticky
I mean, okay…
because is that thing in this frat house toilet alive?
Judging you again.
because I’m out of clean underwear
Judging me 🙁
So there you have it. Your move, Lil Jon/DJ Snake. I look forward to your next single, “Nah man, just…look, the new season of Orange is the New Black is out, just…just, no…”