Humor

5 easy ways to tell if you need more sleep

It’s that weird stretch of time between October recess and Thanksgiving break–that section of the tunnel where we have the lingering taste of freedom and can almost see the light on the other side. This month is host to midterms, Halloweekend, lots of tailgates, essays, and a hundred other time commitments. Busy schedules mean less time for the essentials: Netflix, calling home, and – most importantly – sleep. If you’re unsure about whether or not you’ve been catching enough zzz’s this season, take a quick scroll and find out.

  1. You’ve noticed you’ve been saying a lot of weird shit lately

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Whether it’s catching yourself starting to call your professor “Mom” or wheezing hysterically through a joke that literally doesn’t make sense to anyone else, you’ve definitely been having trouble with words recently. This is probably your brain’s way of telling you that you should get some sleep. Either that or that it doesn’t want you to have friends anymore — frankly, I’m surprised I still have any myself after the amount of failed puns I’ve spouted these past few weeks.

2. Multiple people a day tell you “You look tired”

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People used to greet you with a simple “Hey, what’s up?”. There’s no need for them to even ask anymore, because apparently your “exhausted” face says it all. The first couple times friends, acquaintances, and the guy at Blue State, tell you they can no longer see the light in your eyes, it may sting a little. But fear not, hearing how tired you look gets easier every time – possibly because you’re a little more delirious each time it happens.

       3. You now see blinking as an opportunity for a mini-nap

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What do you call an opportunity to close your eyes and relax in the comfort of darkness throughout the day? Bliss, but also blinking. I hope I’m not the only one who has found herself maximizing the time in which her eyelids are closed per blink (sounds weird, 10/10 would recommend). Blinking is an automatic biological process, but also a very underrated and socially-respectable way to catch some shut-eye during the day.

4. Comfortable chairs are your frenemy

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A comfortable couch or one of those cushy chairs in Bass is the best/worst thing for a tired person. “Sure,” you think to yourself. “I can still get work done in a comfy seat.” Sometimes you’re right, but sometimes you’re so, so wrong. I can attest that the one time this week I tried to do homework on a couch, I fell asleep for 20 minutes. If you’re truly exhausted, you view comfortable seating options with the right balance of longing and trepidation. They feel, after all, very similar to the bed you haven’t been seeing a lot of lately.  

5. You fall asleep everywhere except your bed

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Speaking of beds, how is yours doing? If you haven’t spent more than a few hours with it over the course of these past few nights, it will probably be hard for you to answer. The mark of a genuinely burnt-out student is falling asleep on virtually every surface except their mattress. I’m talking the communal table at the library, your friend’s futon, the floor of your common room, etc. While there’s no way to prevent the inevitable, make sure you’re okay with your friends having embarrassing pictures in their camera roll of you drooling over your psych textbook.