This year, Yale made history by doing the one thing no one thought possible: actually winning the Harvard-Yale game. Did we win because our football team worked hard and persevered? Did we win because 2016 was already such a shit-show that it it’t not even surprising that Yale won? Or did we win because these 8 brave Yalies were willing to show their bare asses to the world so that countless barely-legitimate “news” websites could make fun of Yale? I don’t know. I wasn’t there. But what I do know is that we need to honor the guys who showed their bottoms so we could come out on top — by ranking them.
DISCLAIMER: Most of these pictures were taken from far away on a shitty camera so the resolution sucks ass.
8. The one who still has underwear on
Look, I’m not gonna give you shit for not being completely naked. I’m sure your dick was still exposed to the entire crowd when you stood on that wall, but stripping means getting fully nude. One of the cheeks is even partially covered! You at least get an A for effort, which at Yale is all that matters.
7. This American Hero right here
Just looking at this very blurry picture of a butt, we can tell this anus bleeds Yale Blue. You should probably see Yale Health about that…
6. Yale Almunus Samuel Alito ’75.
Although he may be one of the most conservative Supreme Court Justices, he sure isn’t conservative when it comes to taking off his clothes!
5. The other guy with underwear on
I know I gave the other guy shit for having underwear on, but at least your entire ass, from cheek to crack to cheek, is showing. But it’s okay, because it was cold and your penis was probably receding deep into your body. The socks are a great touch.
4. Handsome Dan? More like Handsome Derriere
Was that joke a stretch? Yes. But what’s not a stretch is believing that this behind put us ahead against Harvard!
Tie for 2 and 3: The up close and personal Bulldog Buttocks
Were these two asses chosen just because they were the only non-grainy butt pics I could find on the Internet? Perhaps. But just looking at the smiles of those girls in the background, you can tell that the front is just as good as the back.
1. Peter Salovey
Come on, you’re not fooling anyone. We all know it’s you. We’d recognize that sweet ass anywhere. President Salovey, we appreciate this tremendous sacrifice you made for Yale.