Now first of all, don’t get me wrong; the desserts prepared for us are often delicious in their own right. But sometimes, free peach cobbler made with love and care just isn’t enough to satisfy you monsters. For those of you who simply aren’t content with the variety of dessert that’s already being put out for you to recklessly consume, here are four sweet treats that can be made quickly and in just about every dining hall at any time of day (we make no guarantees for Saybrook or Calhoun).
The rest of you, however, can commence getting excited
- Get a regular cup.
- Put some milk into it. I suggest about ⅙ of a cup, but I prefer somewhat thicker milkshakes. Put more or less depending on your preference. (If you want to get really frisky, put chocolate milk!)
- Fill the rest of the cup as tightly as you can with scoops of ice cream. Once you start mixing, the ice cream will condense and take up less space, so a cup full of haphazardly scooped ice cream will amount to about half-a-cup’s worth of milkshake.
- If you’d like, add toppings. I suggest Oreo bits, because they’re God’s gift to dining hall gourmands.
- Take a spoon and just kinda start stabbing the concoction you’ve made. Admittedly, it looks kinda gross at first. But after you’ve mixed vigorously, you’ll have a delicious milkshake and be the envy of your friends.
2. Root beer floats
- DO NOT TRY WITH ANY FLAVOR BUT VANILLA. I got desperate once when Calhoun was out of it and tried it with chocolate. WOULD NOT RECOMMEND.
- Depending on how much you want, get either a cup or a mug. I suggest a mug, because it looks cuter and is easier to eat.
- Get two or three scoops of vanilla ice cream into the mug and then simply go and fill the rest of it with root beer. If you’d like more root beer, sip the frothy part away and put more root beer in.
3. Banana splits
- This one might prove a bit more difficult because, as I’m sure you all know, not every dining hall always has bananas. If they do, though, get one.
- The ice cream bowls are not perfectly shaped for the ideal banana split. For that reason, I suggest you cut the banana in half both ways and put all four pieces in a sort of little cross in the bowl and scoop the ice cream into that. That way, the banana won’t be sticking out, and it looks more fancy that way.
- Scoop your ice cream of choice and, if you’re lucky, chocolate sauce onto the bananas in your bowl. I doubt there’s whipped cream, but since I just stole a can of it from my Master’s house last night, y’all can come ask me to borrow some.
- *This parfait recipe has no yogurt, no granola, no fruit and, essentially, no health benefits. I said “delicious desserts,” not “dessert-shaming-in-a-cup.”
- Get a cup and put a bit of milk in it. Put more milk in it than you would for a thick milkshake, to get that yogurty texture with none of the disappointment of yogurt.
- As if you were going to make a milkshake, put some ice cream in the cup. I would suggest vanilla, but hey, if you’re more culinarily adventurous than me (which is extremely likely), tread your own path.
- In place of granola, mix your favorite cereal into the cup with the ice cream and milk. I personally believe that the best combination is vanilla ice cream with Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but I also believe that chocolate milk is a bit of a walk on the wild side, so don’t take my word for it. Go out and try it yourself!
This is by no means an exhaustive list, but these are four tried, true, and tasty methods of spicing up your dessert options–all without having to use any actual spice! (I’m looking at you, Pumpkin Spice Lattes.)
You’re welcome, readers. Go and enjoy. Then read here to fit back into your clothes again